In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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