why didn't you poke me back
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
