I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize