$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
