in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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