I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
