you turned your livingroom into a bong?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
