Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
