i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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