take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
