I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
