I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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