By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
