Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
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