he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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