Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
