You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
