ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How does it feel to date your dad?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize