Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
