i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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