what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
