Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
