She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
