If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
