Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
