I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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