Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
