If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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