Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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