eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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