Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
