if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize