Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
