he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So vagazzling was a success
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
