I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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