I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
