this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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