i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
