i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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