Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
