All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
