We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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