Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
