Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
