yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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