I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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