so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
