Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
