I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
