I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
