You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
