Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I would ride that face into the sunset
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
