The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
is that a dick in a sweater?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
